Web Designer Comic Characters

The following characters are based on completely ridiculous stereotypes within the web design world.

Latest Comics

Chops

interactive designer

Chops is the living example of the web designer law that states: The talent of a web designer is directly proportional to the size of his mutton chops. All Chops wants to do is make you a pretty website. He really doesn’t care for your business goals or objectives. One day his mutton chops will grow so large that no business plan will stand in the way of his perfect web design.

SEO Expert

search engine optimization expert (SEO)

SEO Expert’s ethics lie somewhere between a snake oil salesman and the devil. He is an unrivaled charlatan in his ability to spew Google related nonsense words. You will have no choice but to sign a 13 year agreement for a search optimization campaign with no clear deliverables. Your only way out of this agreement is to license your soul to SEO Expert. SEO Expert used to purchase souls outright but quickly found a clever licensing arrangement that led to more captured souls per unique visitor. You have been warned.

Sales Guy

business development, sales guy

Sales guy can make all your internet goals a reality. He knows just enough to be dangerous. He can say words like FTP and SQL. He can sell water to a drowning man, but doesn’t know the first thing about internet technology. Check out his cool demeanor and 80s style new wave hair cut. This means he is a winner. He will agree to the most unreasonable timeline and outrageous development request as long as you have a budget. He will do whatever it takes to meet his monthly sales goal.

Kent

programmer

There are 10 types of people, those know understand binary and those who don't. Too bad Kent doesn't have a clue about binary or any other well designed software methodologies. But he can write 10,000 lines of script code an hour. Don't expect that code to work all the time or protect you against SQL injection hacks. Is Kent wearing a red cross blood donator t-shirt? Yes, he is. This is all you need to know.

Hawk

web designer with faux hawk

If all the coolness in the universe could be condensed into one word it would be "faux hawk". Isn't "faux hawk" two words, you might ask. False. The awesomeness has clouded your brain. The brain's only coping mechanism is to trick itself into seeing two words. This is the only way for your simple mind to grasp how amazing Hawk is. He will not make your logo bigger. And don't expect your mockup on time because someone will be at the salon getting his hair "designed".

The Clients

What would web designers be without clients? .. Unemployeed, but happy.

Idea Guy

This client has a million and one "great" ideas. Too bad for Idea Guy, every one of his ideas has already been done in the late 90s. Another unfortunate aspect of Idea Guy is he has completely unrealistic expectations on budget and time it takes to turn his ideas in to reality. Fortunately for Idea Guy, Sales Guy will agree to any timeline on any budget.

Goofy Money Bags Guy

This guy has more money than he knows what to do with. He has a vague idea what the internet is all about. He’s heard it is good for his business, but he’s not really sure why.

Irrationally Angry Business Guy

Why’s my stuff not done yet? I’m not going to pay that final invoice… EVER. These are the hallmarks of Irrationally Angry Business Buy. He is a mid level manager that doesn’t want his boss to know he’s an idiot. He makes up for his stupidity with loud angry rants. He has no idea what he wants out of his website. But he’ll be the first to tell you when you’ve screwed up his unclear intentions.

Angry Old Guy

This old fart keeps wishing this whole computer nonsense would go away. For all he knows a thousand blind monkeys are trapped inside his computer making it work. If you think he has a hard time grasping his PC wait until you try to explain blogging, social networks and all the rest of that Web 2.0 crap.

Pink Fat Lady

It’s time to do a pro bono website for your local non-for-profit center. Meet the Pink Fat Lady. This heinous old crone only exists to thwart your ideas. Typically the Pink Fat Lady only works within a committee. Don’t expect this committee to help solve any problems. The Pink Fat Lady sees all this website business as another way she can assert her hateful dominance within her organization.